The Pee Phenomenon by Vibreo
How many times has it happened to you?? First, realize you have to pee but you hold it. After a while you really need to go so you get up and calmly walk towards the restroom but suddenly the closer you get to the bathroom the more you have to go. Now it turns out the bathroom is down the hall to the right, up the stairs through the auditorium, past the emergency doors and finally on the biggest bush/cop/car/wall/dog/pigeon/statue/patch of grass/river/water bottle/tennis court/chair/tire/fence/cat/idiot/beggar/microwave/electric generator/fish/church/priest/sibling/city official available. When you finally find a good spot you have to open your zipper and drop your pants, this is of course impossible since you have to piss so badly, in fact you have to piss so bad it feels like your teeth are now holding pee that didn't fit in your bladder, that your hands are shaking like you haven't slept is 12 days. Finally you let go and it feels like you just had an orgy with every cover girl from Playboy and Maxim for the past 4 years, a beaver, an ox, a 9 iron, 2 almonds, and a pound of raw meat. Now I know as well as any other man who has held it in for to long the pleasure of release from a good pee. But what the hell is with the wanting to pee so bad before getting there? It seems to get exponentialy worse the closer you get to the bathroom, and that to me doesn't see normal. This is not the only case where this applies. When its lunch time I seem to get progressivly hungrier as more food is piled on my plate. When I need to sleep the closer I get to my bed the sleepier I am. Why when we want something do we want it more as we get closer to it??? The answer: people are dumb. Instead of calmly approaching our goal we get dumbstruck with the certainty of having it, suddenly our brain focuses on our objective so much that it seems to become more real as we get closer. As it gets more real its absence is more noticable then ever, which causes us to want it more. There is a good side to this, the more we want the more we will do to get it. A man who has to piss will trample a small child if he happens to be in the way. A man who needs sleep would suffocate kittens if it meant sleeping. And me?? I would drive 3.5 hours alone and spend all my spare money just to see someone. This is the piss phenomenon: the closer we get to our goal the more we want it and as we get closer to our goal our despairation becomes such that we would do almost anything to achieve it.
So now that I've described this phenomenon I warn you: be careful of your goals, make sure they are worthy of the actions you would pursue to achieve them.
How many times has it happened to you?? First, realize you have to pee but you hold it. After a while you really need to go so you get up and calmly walk towards the restroom but suddenly the closer you get to the bathroom the more you have to go. Now it turns out the bathroom is down the hall to the right, up the stairs through the auditorium, past the emergency doors and finally on the biggest bush/cop/car/wall/dog/pigeon/statue/patch of grass/river/water bottle/tennis court/chair/tire/fence/cat/idiot/beggar/microwave/electric generator/fish/church/priest/sibling/city official available. When you finally find a good spot you have to open your zipper and drop your pants, this is of course impossible since you have to piss so badly, in fact you have to piss so bad it feels like your teeth are now holding pee that didn't fit in your bladder, that your hands are shaking like you haven't slept is 12 days. Finally you let go and it feels like you just had an orgy with every cover girl from Playboy and Maxim for the past 4 years, a beaver, an ox, a 9 iron, 2 almonds, and a pound of raw meat. Now I know as well as any other man who has held it in for to long the pleasure of release from a good pee. But what the hell is with the wanting to pee so bad before getting there? It seems to get exponentialy worse the closer you get to the bathroom, and that to me doesn't see normal. This is not the only case where this applies. When its lunch time I seem to get progressivly hungrier as more food is piled on my plate. When I need to sleep the closer I get to my bed the sleepier I am. Why when we want something do we want it more as we get closer to it??? The answer: people are dumb. Instead of calmly approaching our goal we get dumbstruck with the certainty of having it, suddenly our brain focuses on our objective so much that it seems to become more real as we get closer. As it gets more real its absence is more noticable then ever, which causes us to want it more. There is a good side to this, the more we want the more we will do to get it. A man who has to piss will trample a small child if he happens to be in the way. A man who needs sleep would suffocate kittens if it meant sleeping. And me?? I would drive 3.5 hours alone and spend all my spare money just to see someone. This is the piss phenomenon: the closer we get to our goal the more we want it and as we get closer to our goal our despairation becomes such that we would do almost anything to achieve it.
So now that I've described this phenomenon I warn you: be careful of your goals, make sure they are worthy of the actions you would pursue to achieve them.
posted by Saul at 10:22 PM
1 Comments:
A fat guy speaking about pee?
Lovely!
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